I believe in timelines. I believe that there can be many different storylines happening simultaneously on the planet. I also believe that at some point prior to our decent to this planet, in this lifetime, we chose to be here. Now.
If this theory is correct, and it’s not just my theroy, it’s quantumphysics, then that means that we all chose to be right here, right now…right where we are. And here we all are during the most unprecedented time on this planet thus far…Chillin.
For those who are struggling with the concept that I stated above, ask yourself this question: why are some things happening at some places so different from what is happening in other places at the exact same time? Why do some people have drastically different lives than others? I don’t mean money or posessions, I mean that some people are wholly unaffected by things that wholly affect others.
Let’s just say that we can, we can chose our reality by what we think. There are ways, we know that there are ways because we have seen people do it. Buddah talked about this all the time…the ancient ways. Scientists have published about it. The CIA confirms it.
I bring all of this up because I myself was struggling with happiness. On one hand, there is just so much to be happy and thankful for in my life right now. I just landed the exact job that I’ve been calling in to my reality for for 10 years, with a very likeminded employer and team. Which is huge. The horses are great, family healthy, all systems go in my life. On the other hand, the city Dylan and I planned on traveling to this summer for his birthday was relativly on fire.
For another example, last week, I filmed a webinar for National Business Institute remotely instead of flying to their studios. The whole process was wonderful, it went better than I could have ever imagined, and was a pretty great indicator of what I want more of in my life and can’t wait to actually fly there to film in the future. I was so happy over the entire experince that I gave myself a migraine complete with neausa. My body obviously can’t tell the difference between excitement and anxiety and that’s just stupid.
How then, can you be so happy…or want to be happy when there is so much uncertainty and pain in the world? What about the happiness boogie man? The saying that you “shouldn’t be too happy because something bad always happens” actually has a name – it’s called Cherophobia. The literal fear of being happy so avoid the painful thing that is bound to happen beause you are happy.
While I think that Cherophobia is obviously real, I think there are others that are afraid to be happy when others clearly are not happy, so to avoid the pain of others trying to bring them down. However, the point of being here is to bring your light. Your contribution, your gift, your talent, your chutzpah. The whole purpose of being here is to just be who you are and bring your talents into this world right now beause it’s desperatly needed. Someone deliberately not being happy does not help anyone else – it makes things worse.
Super easy to say right? But what about what your parents, friends, teachers, cousins, neighbors, church, strangers say? What will they think of you being yourself and being happy? Nothing. They should say nothing because it isn’t their business…but we all know there’s one in every crowd.
Since the judgement from those who say they are free of judgement never really goes away, isn’t it time to just do it anyway? Be who you are anyway? Create your timeline/reality anyway? As long as you are authentic, kind, humble and compassionate, what the hell can anyone really even say?
Back to the theory of bending reality to create your own timelines…if you are being who you are, then that means according to the law of physics, you actually end up creating exactly what world you want to live in, henceforth the timeline. As such, only those who support and love you stay within your timeline. Timelines can interact with other opposing timelines of course. They always cross for a reason, and there is an exchage of energy. You are in control of just how much energey you exchange but your timeline is yours and theirs is theirs, and mine is mine. The timelines are all different according to our purpose for being here, and what our soul loves.
My timeline gives me many gifts for which to not feel worthy enough of, so to make myself think that something bad is bound to happen to make it all go away. It also gives me plenty opportunities to self-sabatage, second guess myself and anything else that is the direct opposite of sheer happiness. I’ve been on this “path” since 2007, and I’m still hung up on self-love/acceptance? What kind of bullshi….I want off of this timeline and on to a new one where I don’t have to work so hard by pretending not to love the feel of panic it will all come to a hault because it’s all that I’ve allowed myself to feel for the past 2 decades.
I know what it feels like to feel good, healthy, and like it’s all coming together, and I’ve had more of those lately than of the other, but I want to stay there for good. Physically, I had my accupuncturist help me out by putting needles in additional points to stop the constant nausea that I had when something good happened. But the rest of the work is an inside job and up to me to fix. I began by making the decision to change for good and that is the basis of all change and consequential actions…intent. I no longer want to be like high strung dog that gets all happy and excited and then vomits.
Once you have intent, you’ll have the desire to start making changes to get to that place of peace. Where a lot of us get hung up…ok me…is that we try to do a full on overhaul to everything about ourselves and our lives all at once as if we’re some some house Chip and Joanna renovates in 24 hours. I’ve found that it’s actually micro-habits that are the key to change. It’s not overwhelming, it’s effective, and in the long run it’s the most efficent because there are no huge failures we have to stop and spend time licking wounds over reaffirming to ourselves that we’ll never be happy. This is why I’m chosing to spend the rest of 2020 doing many things that make me a better version of myself so that I don’t accept any timeline other than the one that I actually want and deserve.
I’m beginning these changes by first letting go of everything that no longer works. I’m letting go of regret, indecision, self-concoiousness, self-sabatage and generally all feelings of anxiety. Because fuck that. From there, I will put more healthy habits into place that include play and rest; exploring, taking adventures, more deep conversations with excellent people, working for fulfillment, eating for nutrition, sleeping for restoration and anything else that tickels my fancy when it comes to what feels great and enhances my human experience. I’m not engaging with timelines that are harmful but I do recognize that we are all one. As such, I do not judge them nor do them any harm.
So after intent and decision, how else will I accompish this?
I feel that I will continue to journal, do affirmations and of course read. I already read no other books but those on self-improvement and authentic business, but I usually have 3 going at one time and don’t spend consistant time reading them to where I have to start over. I do want to change this and read verociously for the rest of the year. The OCD/Type A part of me wants it to be 52 hand selected books to be read from 8/1/2020 to 8/1/2021 with a weekly book report posted here on Fridays. Cannot help this way of thinking…I am a paralegal. Buuuuut, since I’m changing the anxious part of me, the part that won’t accept sheer bliss for whatever reason, maybe reading these books for the enjoyment, the knowledge and the art of writing is what I will focus on.
In fact yes, that I will do.
The point is that I need to learn to go with the flow. I used to be good at this, we all were actually. Just think back to your childhood when you were happily playing with your really good friends. The ones who loved you for who you are – weird parts and all. Everything we did came naturally. From the way we handled communications to the way that we handled disagreements. We have all that we need within when we seek to go back to that point of who we are and move from there to hand curate our reality.
So we’ll see. I’d like to lose a little weight too. On my new timeline I will be a size 8. But maybe a 10. All I know is that I want myself, and as many people as possible, to create a timeline where we are happy and contributing our gifts to the world. In the meantime, a little sleep and nuturition does wonders to ease anxiety and general chaos of the mind. For anyone looking to start, start there and I’ll see you on the other side.
More to consider:
Enjoy the rabbit hole…